20 Planning and Drafting the Descriptive
The Outline
Once you have decided a topic for your descriptive essay, before you start to write, you should develop a plot outline focusing on the dominant impression or what you think the description shows. Here is how to organize your paper.
The Thesis Statement
In the thesis statement of a descriptive essay, you should convey a dominant impression about the subject. The dominant impression is the overall impression or feeling that the topic inspires. For example:
topic controlling idea
The photograph of me as a ten-year-old has an embarrassing story behind it.
controlling idea topic
Feeling self-satisfied, Odysseus Ramsey started his first day in public office.
How to create a dominant impression
To create a dominant impression, ask yourself how or why the topic is important. For example:
Poor Land developers have built homes on parkland.
(Why should readers care about this statement?
Better The once pristine municipal park has been converted into giant estate homes that average families cannot afford.
Writing Exercise: Writing Thesis Statements
Write a thesis statement for each of the following topics. Each thesis statement should state what you are describing and express a controlling idea.
Example: Topic: a memorable event
Thesis Statement: On that scorching day in April, I experienced the most frightening moments of my life.
- Topic: a close fiend
Thesis Statement: ______________________________________________________
- Topic: unattractive fashion trends
Thesis Statement: _______________________________________________________
- Topic: unusual food preferences
Thesis Statement: ___________________________________________________
The Supporting Ideas
After you have developed a thesis statement, generate supporting details.
- Use prewriting strategies such as freewriting and brainstorming to generate ideas
- Choose the best ideas. Most descriptive essays use imagery that describes the person or scene
- Organize your ideas. Choose the best organizational method for this essay pattern
Show! Don’t Tell!
Your audience will find it more interesting to read your written work if you show an action of a person or a quality of a place rather than just state it.
Example of Telling: Laura was angry.
Example of Showing: Laura stomped down the stairs and rushed into the kitchen. Cheeks flushed red with anger, she glared at her older brother. “Where were you? I was waiting for two hours,” she hollered. Instead of waiting for his answer, she scowled at him and marched out of the kitchen, banging the door behind her.
Writing Exercise: Developing Supporting Ideas
Choose one of the following sentences, and write a short description that shows – not tells – the quality or action.
- Today was a perfect day.
2. I was frightened as I entered the cave.
3. The weather did not cooperate with our plans.
Your audience will find it more interesting to read your written work if you show an action of a person or a quality of a place rather than just state it.
Use Different Figurative Devices
When writing a descriptive essay, you can use other figurative devices to add vivid details to your writing.
- A simile is a comparison using like or as.
My thoughts ran as fast as a cheetah.
Let us go then you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table
– from “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” by T.S. Eliot
- A metaphor is a comparison that does not use like or as.
Life is sweet-and-sour soup.
Memory is the diary we all carry about with us.
– by Oscar Wilde
- Personification is the act of attributing human qualities to an inanimate object or an animal.
The chocolate cake winked invitingly at us.
Love is blind.
– from “The Merchant of Venice” by William Shakespeare
Writing Exercise: Practice using figurative language
Use a simile, metaphor, or personification to describe each numbered item below. If you are comparing two things, try to use an unusual comparison.
Example: toddler: the toddler was like a monkey, climbing up and down with great agility (simile)
- mountain: __________________________________________________________
2. hair: _______________________________________________________________
3. ocean: ______________________________________________________________
Useful transitional words in descriptive essays
Descriptive writing often uses space order. Here is a list of transitions that are useful for describing the details in space order.
| To show place or position |
| above beyond in the distance outside behind closer in nearly
below under over there father out on the left/right beside in front on top underneath |
Writing Exercise: List Sensory Details
Choose one of your thesis statements from the previous exercise, and make a list of sensory details. Think about images, impressions, and feelings that the topic inspires in you.
Example:
Topic: a memorable event
Sensory details: – scorching day – blistering sun – howling wind – ripped trees
– smashed homes – frightened people – driving like a race-car driver
Your topic:_______________________________
Your list of sensory details: ____________________________________________________
